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Adopting from Korea - A Parent's Guide to Korean Adoption




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Adopting from Korea

"Adoption Information with Attitude"

Nine years ago, on New Year's Eve 1997, I sat down and began writing what eventually became adoptkorea.com. We were waiting for "the call" to tell us our son, Spencer, was ready to come home, and I really needed a place to focus my energies while we endured the wait.

Since that time, the site and I -- as a parent, adoption advocate, and web architect - have grown and matured. I thought it was time for a major update of a site that so many families have come to rely on for current and reliable information.

My intention is the same now as it was in 1997, to help you navigate some of the adoption journey with a little more ease, comfort and confidence. I look forward to hearing your suggestions and input.

And feel free to visit my new "Adopting from Korea Rant & MomBlog" for additional musings and mumblings on things adoption, cultural, parenting, and anything else that appeals to me at the time.


Considering the Adoption Option

Our family turned to adoption after suffering through several miscarriages after the birth of our first daughter in 1992. In 1997, at ages 42, my husband and I were facing biological realities. My eggs weren't getting any younger and our energy levels weren't going to appreciably increase any time soon.

How many more disappointments could we stand? Were we willing to go the high-tech route knowing there were no guaranteed positive outcomes? Did we want to remain a one-child family? Lots of questions. Lots of soul-searching. And many nights of serious discussions.

More and more adoption seemed the right way for us to go.

And so we began to seek out information. A friend of mine was active in the adoption community having adopted twin boys several years ago. So I called her up and asked her, "How do I start this ball rolling?" From that question began a process that has been maddening and exciting, tiresome and yes, expensive (but a whole bunch of money less than personally-paid infertility treatment.) More on that later.

Of course, not everyone comes to choose adoption after dealing with infertility. We did, although adoption was always "on the table" for us as a family. (I'm only sorry we waited as long as we did before deciding to adopt.) For others, it's the only choice for serious consideration.

But however you come to choose adoption as the way of starting or adding to your family, it's important to note that the decision to adopt needs to be framed in terms of the child's needs, not your own. Sure, you want a child to love and that's great. But when a child becomes available for adoption, it means that child has already sustained a loss or a series of losses. That child will have a family and a history apart from yours.

You can't wish it away nor should you. And love won't necessarily be enough when the tough questions come - and they will, in time, indeed come.

When you can acknowledge and embrace the totality of the child who will join your life by adoption, then you're truly ready to begin the process of adopting a child.

By no means final nor complete, this site is designed to answer some of your questions, help you find useful information, and hold your hand a little as you go along. I've included as many informative links as I could as well as other information I found especially helpful. Check back as I update this site often.

Oh, and just so you know... I've written this from a couple's perspective since Korea doesn't allow for single person adoptions. But there are many countries who welcome singles. So please ignore my use of we and us and references to spouses where appropriate.

And drop me a line if you find particularly informative links or find some of mine need updating, let me know. My goal is to develop a current site that prospective and current adoptive parents can use and enjoy.

Thank you for coming by! Please check back often because this is a site that's always in progress.

So let's get started, shall we?

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